Ever since I could walk, I dreamed of opening a store like the ones I grew up walking past. After moving to Taiwan, I often ran to the small captivating shops to scour through the trinkets. I loved it! I loved digging through every inch of the boxes, searching for treasure amidst what seemed like rubbish.
Ever since I could speak, I had a bad mouth too. I talked back incessantly, especially when it came to money. My money was mine and I hoarded every cent, even if I just found it on the street. Soon we moved to America and in elementary school. I learned to sell toys to fellow classmates who seriously had no money sense. Some came from McDonald’s and some were ones I randomly found in my house. Later, in middle school I began running errands for people in exchange for money. With the liberty I had, I felt free to earn my own cash and I wanted to save whatever I earned.
Everyone thought that I would become a business woman and that path changed slightly when I gained an interest in music and fashion design. However, the saying appears quite true that you can predict what a child will become by the way they act when they’re young .
making Him Lord of every aspect of my life
During those years, God slowly opened my eyes and heart to my selfishness and love for money through verses, such as “The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.” I also read the passage about the rich man who asked Jesus what he should do to inherit eternal life. Jesus replied that he obeyed all the commandments, except “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me” (Luke 18:22). To emphasize the importance of this passage, “when he heard this, he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth.” In reply, Jesus said “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”
Over the years of my spiritual walk, God has not only convicted me of different idols in my life- such as pride, love of human praise, and lust in the flesh, but He has also convicted me in areas of finance. When we call Jesus Lord, we must make Him Lord over each and every aspect of our lives including our physical and material lives. I have several times when He spoke clearly to me, especially after I read Revolution in World Missions. I became disgusted by the way I had been selfishly using my money compared to the selfless missionaries in the field. They were willing to be beaten, live off of nothing, and wear rags in order to share the Gospel. Me? I was hoarding my own earnings, albeit not much, in order to guarantee success and security in this world.
“But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6: 20-21).
During my high school years, God confirmed this radical calling in my life. He told me to be different, to cry for the lost, to heal the brokenhearted, to live for His cause. He deeply desired for my heart to be where His was and is to this very day. “The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it” (Matthew 13:45). I had found this pearl and I knew that I would have to align my bank account with His heart too.
In fact, all good gifts come from the Father, He allows us to own possessions, but He also longs for us to bless others with them. God convicted me of this with my first car. I loved it and every time someone wanted to drive it, I would cringe inside and tell them no. Gas was expensive and my baby consumed it fast. I knew I was being selfish, but I denied it in my heart. One day, I woke up with this in my head: “Did I not give you this car?” I knew God was speaking and was reminding me that He gave me the money to buy the car, energy to work for the money, and life so that I can live in this world. God continues to convict me of specific areas and ways I use my money. There were times God told me to give all my savings to a certain missionary. I have found that when I give, God continues to supply my needs. In addition, I am freed from the chains of materialism when I submit to His authority. How can we live in obedience in every part of our lives except in the areas of money? Now that I have learned this lesson, I believe that Christians should talk about money and finance more in church and in society.
final words: His heart beats for us
Finally, I want to thank God for providing for me during the past three years of college. In my senior year of high school, I told God that if He wanted me to go to a fashion school (costing over $21,000 a year, excluding housing) I would need Him to provide. I then applied for a billion scholarships and was granted many. I can say to this day, I did not ask my parents for one penny of my college tuition and I never had to take out a loan. Praise God! Out of this, I have learned numerous lessons including how to be a good steward of my money by budgeting wisely and how to be resourceful. Now that I am trying to start my own business, I am able to invest wisely. I also sense that God doesn’t want me to have debt because He is sending me overseas to continue my missionary journey. Most importantly, out of daily surrendering my finance to the Lord, I find the most fulfillment in blessing Him by blessing others. For example, because I want to make Him known, I live simply so I can give to missionaries. I live simply so I can use the money when I am ministering to lost friends. I call it ministry money. I count all my possessions as dung; they mean nothing in comparison to the souls that can be saved for eternity because of my “simple living.”
